Nethermore Teaser
Writing May 31st, 2006Just to give a little idea of what Nethermore is about, I’m posting the section that comes right before Chapter One. Hope you like it!
Sid found the innkeeper’s body in the alley behind the butcher shop. Luckily it was still a few hours fresh, otherwise an Unborn would have been able to seize it and reanimate it.
On closer inspection, Sid discovered something much more disturbing than just a dead body.
It was missing its skull.
The skin of the head and face remained, still attached at the neck. Only a slice on the back of the skin told the story of how the skull had been removed.
Sid knew the lore. The man had no doubt been still alive while his skull had been slowly removed. The cuts were skillful and precise; this was no prank.
Since the time Sid had overheard a clandestine conversation in that Origin prison five years ago, he had anticipated that the skull snatchers would rise again.
And now, after five years of evading them, they had finally caught his scent.
May 31st, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Interesting. It arouses my curiosity about who Sid is, who the skull snatchers are and why they do what they do, and what his connection with them is.
A couple of nits I have: Don’t tell us why the Unborn would snatch the body. Sid already knows the implications and doesn’t need to elaborate upon it in his own thoughts. (I think it would be more fun to let the reader wonder about it, until the body of Sid’s friend rises up and attacks him.) Also, it should be immediately obvious when someone’s skull goes missing, since the head and face would depress.
All my opinion, of course.
Oh, and it weird to call the murder and, um, interior decapitation of someone a “prank.”
May 31st, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Great comments, Tab! You’ve given me some ideas on some things I was saving for later that just might be better said up front. Chapter Two has a rising corpse, but I can just as easily throw one in here, too, and it will serve a better purpose.
Hey, thanks for dropping by. You should get an award for making the most comments!
June 1st, 2006 at 9:53 am
It has indeed always been my contention that I should be greatly rewarded for minimum effort:
“Have you the wit to serve my master?”
“If he but pay me and feed me, and ask for nothing in return, I shall serve him.”
–Faust (A Czech movie directed by a guy named Svankmejer, or something like that.)