Nethermore

Last night, a friend of mine recounted a familiar story and offered his two-cents on the story’s theme.

When I was little, I remember Mom reading me the story about the Grasshopper and the Ants. Grasshopper comes along in the spring and wants to spend all his time playing. He tries to get the ants to play along, but they’ve got work to do, storing food for the winter. They suggest that he does the same.

“But winter’s such a long way off!” says the Grasshopper, and he plays all summer.

When winter comes, and Grasshopper has no food, he comes begging to the Ants to let him in. They do, of course, since this is a sugar-coated story and shows that the Ants have compassion.

The story should’ve ended with the Grasshopper freezing to death. That’s what would have happened in real life. The Grasshopper, stuck in the snow and dying, would have shaken his fist in the air and proclaimed, “It isn’t fair!”

But, by golly, it’s fair. He discovered the rules when the Ants told him, and he chose to play instead of to work.

In order to succeed in life, you have to figure out the rules and play by them.

One of the rules of success stems directly from the Grasshopper/Ants fable:

Every one of us will pay a price eventually. Life is a toll road. To use it, you pay up front, or you pay at the end, but no matter what, you will pay one of these tolls.

Feel the Pain of Discipline. Or, Feel the Pain of Regret.

A little bit of work/discipline daily goes a long way to erasing the regret at the end of the road. Lack of discipline at the beginning feeds into how much regret we feel later on in life.

Luckily, we know the rules. We get to choose.

The Pain of Discipline now. Or the Pain of Regreat later on.

I guess they finally got internet connections in the spirit world. A friend of mine showed me that Geoffrey Chaucer has set up his own blog over at blogspot. It’s called Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog, and it’s a very clever idea, if you ask me.

Of Geoffrey’s most recent posts, he asks his readers to please vote for him over at Hot or Not with this plea: “Plese uote for me and saye that ich am hotte.”

Afterward, he reviews the new stageplay “Serpentes on a Shippe.”

(Caution, the following paragraphs may contain a slight spoiler for Lady in the Water, not that it matters much, since the movie kind of spoils itself.)

In other news, I watched Lady in the Water over the weekend. While it wasn’t a total waste of time, and had a few touching moments, over all it is a strange little movie too heavily laden with symbols and coincidences (think the coincedences of Signs on steroids).

I was worried about Shyamalan acting in one of his own movies since I didn’t think he was very good even in his bit parts in the others. To his credit, he does a decent job with his character in Lady in the Water. In other words, his acting wasn’t annoying. However, I do wonder what he’s trying to say by casting himself as the writer who will write one of the most-important books in the history of humankind.

And here I was worrying about the hole in the ozone layer, “Global Warming” (me and Al Gore both), and processed cheese. Check out the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division for the creepy truth about dihydrogen monoxide. I think there may even be a petition you can sign to try to get it banned.

The really scary thing is that scientists think they have found evidence of dihydrogen monoxide on places as far away as Mars. Comets may carry traces of it. Some of the dwarf planets out in the Kuiper belt may even be almost entirely composed of dihydrogen monoxide. This is really going to put a damper on the space program!

Maybe you’ve read both Scalzi’s account of the Scalzi Award and Brandon’s as well. But there’s a story behind the award—a story rife with yellow bricks and peril.

It began on Wednesday night. Bryce Moore and I trekked through Downtown Disney looking for souvinirs—he for his son. I was looking for something for myself. Nothing jumped out at me.

But then a large yellow store arose from the mists of night and the smoke from the Disneyland fireworks: the Lego store. It loomed like, well, a giant brick with large, red, Lego doors to welcome us.

As we entered, a nine-year old boy sat outside the red doors, Legos scattered all over the cobblestones in front of him. I imagined him coming out of the store in a panic, unable to contain the pressure fueling his Lego fix. Without being able to make it back to his hotel room, he fell to the ground, ripping apart the Lego box, bricks flying everywhere. And now, on the ground, he could breathe easily as he furiously built a Lego Star Wars Jedi spaceship.

Little did I know that the boy would be me on Saturday night right after the Hugo Awards banquet.

Of all the things in the Lego store, the thing that sparked my curiosity was the big bins of bricks in the back. For around seven bucks, one could take a plastic cup and fill it with Legos from any of the bins. I made up my mind. I wanted Legos as a souvinir. And since the Hugos were given out at WorldCon, I thought it would be cool to make a rocket to take home as a remembrance of the Convention.

As the convention unfolded, it became apparent that Scalzi was the forerunner for the Campbell Award, and as a result, my friend Brandon Sanderson adopted him as his evil nemesis. When things went even slightly awry, the curse “Scalzi!” would echo down the hallways in the same intonations of the famous line: “Khan!”

The joke grew, and then I found myself one afternoon with friends Dan Wells and Janci Patterson, who both had expressed interest in going to the Lego store. Since Lego rockets were already on my mind, I brought up the idea of making an award for Brandon. We all thought it would be a great idea, and we planned on giving him the award—so long as Scalzi won.

Off to the Lego Store, and directly to the bins of bricks we went. After an hour of fiddling with bricks, and a few false starts—Dan and Janci were incredibly patient with me—we had a rocket. It should be mentioned that Dan did a great job of decorating the rocket with round pieces, and vents, and a Lego bush to act as a pilot. We pulled the thing apart, crammed it into the little bucket, and added pieces around it to fill it up and get our money’s worth of bricks.

Torn apart in a bucket with a taped-on top, the Scalzi award waited until Saturday when Dan Wells and Steve Diamond borrowed a Sharpie from the “When Did You Join Fandom?” wall and approached John Scalzi.

“Can you sign this?” asked Dan. “It’s a Lego.”

“Sure,” said Scalzi. He signed the brick and handed it back. “What’s it for?”

“I can’t tell you,” said Dan.

Scalzi looked confused. “Well, can you tell me later?”

“No.” Dan took back the Sharpie. “But maybe you’ll find out.”

Fast forward to Saturday night. Scalzi wins the Campbell Award. Our friend Bob Defendi screams “Scalziiii!” into the silence before Scalzi’s acceptance speech. The Hugos end. The group of us are walking back to the hotel with Brandon.

Dan looks at me. “Have you built the award?”

I blink. “It’s still in the bucket with all the other bricks we shoved in there.”

“You’d better hurry then,” he says.

I ran to the hotel, reverting back to past tense. The elevators had quite the wait. I found a stairwell that appeared to be for employees only because it was so narrow. Up to the seventh floor, and into the rooms I flew.

On the floor was the bucket of Legos. I tore off the lid and began madly building the rocket, wondering if I could make it exactly the same way I had back in the store a few days earlier. Just as in the movies, I got it done just as Brandon and the rest of the group arrived. (Thanks to Kimball on this one.)

Then we presented the award to Brandon. My only regret: I wish we had built a holder on it for Scalzibane.

So, that’s the story of the Scalzi Award. And at 6.95, I bet it cost a whole lot less than that Campbell Awards plaque.

I’ll be gone to the World Science Fiction Convention this week and probably won’t get back to the computer to make any entries. But I’ll post on Monday (if not before) a report of the happenings.

You may have noticed that the progress bar hasn’t been moving for awhile. Well, it’s not because I haven’t been writing. This last week I’ve actually been getting back into the book. However, it’s all written on my NEC MobilePro, which I bought used several years ago for less than a hundred bucks.

MobilePros are great for getting things down quickly. It’s been a life saver at the doctor’s office or just about anywhere I’ve had to sit around waiting. The instant On feature is great since I don’t have to wait for the thing to boot up just to slap down a few sentences. And if you have another computer, you can transfer the files (in MS Pocket Word) over to your Laptop or Desktop for further editing. Pocket Word doesn’t have a word count feature. It’s basically just a text editor, which is really the only downside to the MobilePro, beside its small screen.

It’s an awesome little device, especially with the full keyboard. I’d never buy one of them new, but one can get these things used for a fairly good price (less than a hundred bucks) off eBay.

Remember that movie, Old Yeller? When I was a kid, that show scared me to death because of the ending. It made me think that just because someone is your best friend, events out of your control can turn him into a monster. The worst part was that it was Travis, the boy who had grown so attached to Old Yeller, who had to put the old boy down.

Remember that one song by Cold Play—”Yellow?” You know, “Look at the stars, how they shine for you”? Well, it was just begging to get a parody made out of it. So, I put the movie and the song together, and voila! Enjoy. It’s a work in progress, so feel free to comment.

“Old Yeller”
lyrics by “Stewart!”
music by Cold Play

There was a dog
Of a golden hue
A friend to me and you
Yeah, he was Old Yeller

He won their hearts
Cuz his doggy drool
Could fill a swimming pool
He was Old Yeller

He plowed the fields
Man, he was really cool
He was Old Yeller

His mouth
And tongue started to foam
Din’t call the vet, we didn’t have a phone
I took that gun, I took that gun
And blew that dog away

He saved some kid
Who was attacked by pigs
But that dog rescued him
Way to go, Yeller

A rabid wolf
Came to tear our throats
Our dog, he took the blow
He was Old Yeller

His mouth
And tongue started to foam
Din’t call the vet, we didn’t have a phone
I took that gun, I took that gun
And blew that dog away

There was a dog
Of a golden hue
Of a golden hue
Of a golden hue
Of a golden hue
Of a golden
There was a dog
Of a golden hue

Recently I was looking for fonts for the Mistborn Llamas T-shirts (watch for them soon!) when one of the websites suggested I install their software in order to get free fonts. Well, I don’t install everything I find online—that would be the equivalent of putting everything I find on the ground in my mouth.

But I read their little end user agreement, and in the midst of it were these words:

Special Notice for Residents of the State of Alaska, USA:
Unfortunately, according to SB 140 (Alaska), persons who reside in the state of Alaska may not install the Licensed Software. Therefore, by installing or Using the Licensed Software you represent and warrant that your computer is not located in the state of Alaska.

My first thought after reading this was, if I were in Alaska and really wanted this spyware installed on my computer, then what’s stopping me from downloading and installing this stuff?

My second thought was that Alaska’s lawmakers came up with this law for some reason or another. I imagine that someone in government waved the proposed bill in the air and said, “We don’t want people downloading or installing ANYTHING but penguins!”

I don’t want to detract from the seriousness of this situation. I’m quite sure that this lawmaker was particularly well-meaning. I mean, doesn’t Alaska have quite the booming Penguin trade?

A little more research yielded this Computer Technology Law Report, which in essence says:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska–Gov. Frank Murkowski (R) Aug. 30 signed legislation that forbids the online distribution or installation of “adware” that causes Web browsers to display pop-up advertisements targeted to Alaska consumers.

Wow, talk about taking care of their citizens. But how in the world are they going to enforce this?

Ah ha! I think we’ve found a job for all those penguins!

Author’s Note:
Some observant readers may assert that there are no penguins in Alaska. According to Wikipedia, penguins are only found in the Southern Hemisphere. But where do you think Alaska is located? Besides I’ve seen penguins in zoos that are (as far as I know) outside of the Southern Hemisphere, so Wikipedia may not be entirely accurate.

My friend, and fellow Industrial Designer, Jason showed me a great website called Blurb for printing personal portfolios. He got his printed and shipped within a week and seems to be happy with the quality. For around thirty bucks, you can get a hardcover book of your designs or writings. They’re just in Beta right now, so expect bigger and better services in the future. I just may have to put together a Mistborn Maps book for the signings that I’ve been going to.

And as for Jason’s work, check it out over at TenaciousID.com.

Tolkien, Lewis, and fellow writers were the Inklings.

My writing group is the Mistborn Llamas, based on the writings of Brandon Sanderson and Albert M. Packard.

Shawn Boyles over at Spike the Surf Dog, has posted his wonderful design for the Mistborn Llamas T-shirt that the writing group will be printing up in time for WorldCon in LA this year.

Just received the final artwork for the third Ctrl Zed album. The official title has been chosen.

Food!