Nethermore

A few weeks ago, my friend Debra and I went to the newest, coolest eatery in town: the Cusina Nina Sorensen, whose cooks happen to be Debra’s good friends. Because of this, we were treated to several delicacies that aren’t listed on the menu, so don’t be surprised if you can’t find these treats next time you stop by.

50-Gallon Propane Steak (Carne a la Feur)

I’m not usually one who likes to eat big gobs of meat, usually because without fail the meat is tough enough to be used for Bubba’s next leather jacket. Not so with 50-gallon propane steak. This steak was the best chunk of meat I’ve eaten in years. It sliced off tenderly. It melted in mouth. I began to moo with satisfaction of every perfectly-spiced slice.

Debra says: “I thought the steak was as succulent and tender as a hunk of cow flesh slowly roasted in a 50 gallon propane grill.”

Anthony says: “Indeed, it was verily that, even though I wasn’t there.”

Irish-Italian Zesty Potatoes

These cheese-covered sparkles of zesty flavor were also covered in Wisconsiny goodness that oozed with salt-cured milk, melted over cubes of Idahoness. Some of the best awesomeness to happen to the potato since O’Boisies!

Debra says: “The potatoes were a plump honey blonde Irish lass cross bred with a zesty Italian.”

Anthony says: “There was a honey blonde Irish lass there? Was she single? Invite me next time, okay?”

Edible Snapshot Éclairs

Wow. Like lightning out of a clear sky, these éclairs eletrocuted my tastebuds with pastry power. Nothing has been so powerful as these are since the time He-man held aloft his magic sword and said, “By the power of Grayskull.”

Debra says: “And the éclairs…ahh…the éclairs…I have a long, pleasant, and very biased history with those éclairs. To me they will always be an edible snapshot of my past.”

Anthony says: “I want a magic sword. Did you get one, too? Why do I miss out on the best meals?”

What an amazing place to eat: the food, the company, and the magic sword will go down in history, if not in my memory, at least on the blog.

Food review by Isaac and Anthony

Will a New Year’s Eve dinner ever be the same again after a trip (by invitation only) to Liz’s Gourmet in South Provo? Upon entering this high-class establishment, we were promptly seated with fellow invitees at a black mahogany table, place settings by Rachel™. Even the plates, dishes, and serving platters were color-coordinated to fit the mood and feel of the victuals about to be set before us. Verily, this smorgasbord felt like an autumn festival in every regard.

Butternut Bol de Soupe

This soupe, the color of ripe egg yolks, added to the festive atmosphere of the entire feast by making every one of us feel like there was an Italian dancing party in our mouths. Indeed the thickness, saveur, amoy, and tofo of this dish was splenderific. With a flavor reminiscent of Christmas Tree (rosemary, methinks), this was possibly the best Italian dance party I’ve ever had in my mouth.

Appetizer #1: Pepper à la broche

To accent the cinnabar bowl, Liz’s E’vier de Cuisine added these little orange delights as appetizers before the main course came our way. Slow roasted in oil, salt, and secret seasonings, the pepper à la broche took my broche away. Describing such a delectable taste would be futile. However, as futility feeds the fires of fantasy, think green peppers. Now make them orange in your mind. Add oil and roast slowly. Now . . . savor.

Appetizer #2: Yams and Taters (Le Yam et de Taters)

Ever had yams? Ever had taters? Ever eat rosemary? Ever have a shotgun of full of finesse obliterate your tongue? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Add green bowl, and you’re set.

Main Course: Pumpkin-Enriched Hazelnut-Smothered Noodle Nuggets

In less-sophisticated parts of the world, these diamonds are simply called “Raviolis” and left at that. But these were so beyond Ravioli, that Italian words alone would do injustice to these pinnacles of perfectiality.

Smothered in nectar from hazelnut heaven, the noodle nuggets enveloped pockets of pumpkin. Like little soft sofa pillows, the very appearance of these pastas sent visions of nappy time lullabies fluttering through our ears. Nappy time redefined my life.

And Pumpkin-Enriched Hazelnut-Smothered Noodle Nuggets redefined my nappy time.

For drinking: Trader Joe’s All Natural Pasteurized Vintage Spicy Cider

To wash it all down, this 100% juice blend was probably mostly apple. According to the label it’s a “fresh whole ripe apple juice with a hint of concentrated lemon juice, spices, and citrus.” While it tasted enormously big, methinks that “lemon juice” and “citrus” is a little small tiny bit redundant and unnecessary.

Dessert: Belle Cremeshine Somethings

To wash down the cider, we had the belle Cremeshine Somethings. Confections with pudding infections, they’re the infections injected with the inflection of perfection. In other words, they’re the infection we’re all dying to try, or try dying to, too.

In all deliriousness, these confections addled my otherwise normal thoughting process. If I hadn’t been so full of dreamy nugget delights from the other courses, I would have mowed through these buggers in less than the wink of a hat. But really, these were awesome. I have no better verbs to describe them.

This meal was not only the last meal of 2006, it was also the best meal of 2006. Thank you, Liz’s E’vier de Cuisine.